ask sam #toughlove…hannah, nyc

Dear Sam,

I met someone that I really like; he is tall, dark and handsome and successful, a real go-getter. We have shared a drink or two together, but we were with a group of friends.  I hinted to one of our mutual friends that I had a huge crush on him, so she passed my number along to him. I assumed he wouldn’t reach out, until one day when he texted me. Long story short he messaged me at the wrong time; mid brunch, after I had already downed four mimosas, and was well into my fifth. Apparently, I thought it would be a good idea to tell him how I felt about him, which apparently took about 10 text messages and 2 phone calls. Obviously he never responded to my barrage of messages, which has left me feeling utterly humiliated. When I do see him out, he won’t even look at me and I’m afraid I have ruined my chances with him forever. I promise I’m not a crazy stalker, or an alcoholic. Do you have any advice on how I can win my future baby daddy back?

Hannah, NYC


Dear Hannah,

While I’m not sure EXACTLY what kind of drunken messages you sent, I’m assuming that he thinks you’re a fucking idiot. My advice to you is, don’t beat yourself up for losing your cool. We’ve all been there. It’s these embarrassing moments that add layers to the stories of our lives. Learn to laugh at yourself. I would chalk this up to a learning experience and set your sights on a new baby daddy. When you see Mr. Tall Dark and Serious out, I’d make a joke along the lines of “I’d ask you to buy me a drink but, after seeing our text exchange, I’m done with alcohol. So like… wanna do a bump?” #BrunchInTheFace