profile: fabrizio goldstein aka the fat jew

you might have seen this sexy stud performing at coachella or teaching spinning to the homeless in nyc but the deuxmoi gals got a more intimate viewing of the Fat Jew in his natural habitat when we stopped by his west village bachelor pad. scared we were about to walk into a sketchy crack-den situation, we were pleasantly surprised when the FJ opened the door and we were greeted by two adorable king charles cavalier spaniels (named toast and underwear) and an immaculately clean apartment. this writer, plus size model, celebrity chef, horseback riding enthusiast, dog breeder and jew gave us the grand tour of his eclectic apt and his extensive art collection then took the time to answer all of our riveting questions (so sweet!). for all the single ladies out there the Fat Jew stands tall at a whopping 6’2″ and has gorgeous mahogany hair, gorgeous hazel eyes and a head of hair only to be rivaled by jaden smith sans cornrows. learn more about the Fat Jew below…

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
fabrizio’s favorites:
 
designers:
ellen tracy, lane bryant, the big girl section at marshalls, rafe simmons, bugle boy, hugo boss, perry ellis and NAHM (ally hilfiger’s clothing line)
 
shoe deisgner:
skechers, buster brown and stubbs and wootton
 
t-shirt brand:
house of ladosha, big johnson…does ally hilfiger have a t-shirt line?
 
scent:
nautica…just kidding, cologne is for rapists
 
grooming product:
creme de serum by cindy crawford for meaningful beauty. cindy crawford teamed up with a french “doctor” to create an anti-aging cream out of melons from the south of france!
 
hair product:
everything paul mitchell
 
vacation spot:
tampa bay, venezuela, bermuda, berlin and quogue
 
place to shop:
ebay…i recently bought a pair of tuxedo pants with a thong sewed into them
 
hotel:
anywhere that has a free continental breakfast
 
nyc bar:
julius
 
cocktail:
a gigantic snifter filled with a thimble full of hennessy
 
beverage:
i’m really into luxury sodas…fresca, san pellegrino grapefruit
 
band:
no doubt
 
rapper:
cam’ron
 
actor/actress:
goldie hawn and goldie hawn
 
movie:
bad lieutenant and 27 dresses
 
tv show:
who’s the boss?
 
blog/website:
carstuckgirls.com
 
magazine:
star
 
accessory:
a black baby with a british accent and toast in a baby bjorn
 
gadget:
blackberry…just kidding, who has a blackberry??
 
housewarming gift:
a fondue set or a rescue dog
 
 
11 questions with the fat jew:
 
what’s your secret obsession?
eating edible underpants while watching a movie
 
who is your hollywood crush?
mario lopez
 
how would you fill in this sentence?…“i would do just about anything for…”
lohan to be chubby again with big tits like in mean girls
 
biggest turn on?
a girl who likes or is willing to have her vagina screamed into at top volume and anyone who owns a small business and refuses to be chained in the oppressive shackles of giant corporations
 
how would you fill in this sentence?…“if no one found out i would…”
wear birkenstocks with socks. super comfortable yet totally unacceptable on so many levels. and i will name the levels.
 
how would you describe your style?
stephen segal meets a transvestite with a really long rap sheet who carries an ice pick meets john stamos when he was in jessie and the rippers meets a dominican teen
 
top 3 qualities you look for in a potential girlfriend?
1. rough hands
2. low self esteem
3. good taste in pants
 
where is the best place for a single girl to meet a single guy?
the dmv or the port authority for single runaways
 
what do you like to do on a first date?
go kayaking, go out for vegan…just kidding, drugs and alcohol
 
how many drinks are acceptable on a first date?
unlimited drinks unless its cranberry and vodka because those make your breath smell horrible
 
who should initiate the conversation after the first date?
i will because i’ll be waiting in your lobby