profile: fabrizio goldstein aka the fat jew

you might have seen this sexy stud performing at coachella or teaching spinning to the homeless in nyc but the deuxmoi gals got a more intimate viewing of the Fat Jew in his natural habitat when we stopped by his west village bachelor pad. scared we were about to walk into a sketchy crack-den situation, we were pleasantly surprised when the FJ opened the door and we were greeted by two adorable king charles cavalier spaniels (named toast and underwear) and an immaculately clean apartment. this writer, plus size model, celebrity chef, horseback riding enthusiast, dog breeder and jew gave us the grand tour of his eclectic apt and his extensive art collection then took the time to answer all of our riveting questions (so sweet!). for all the single ladies out there the Fat Jew stands tall at a whopping 6’2″ and has gorgeous mahogany hair, gorgeous hazel eyes and a head of hair only to be rivaled by jaden smith sans cornrows. learn more about the Fat Jew below…

fabrizio’s favorites:
ellen tracy, lane bryant, the big girl section at marshalls, rafe simmons, bugle boy, hugo boss, perry ellis and NAHM (ally hilfiger’s clothing line)
shoe deisgner:
skechers, buster brown and stubbs and wootton
t-shirt brand:
house of ladosha, big johnson…does ally hilfiger have a t-shirt line?
nautica…just kidding, cologne is for rapists
grooming product:
creme de serum by cindy crawford for meaningful beauty. cindy crawford teamed up with a french “doctor” to create an anti-aging cream out of melons from the south of france!
hair product:
everything paul mitchell
vacation spot:
tampa bay, venezuela, bermuda, berlin and quogue
place to shop:
ebay…i recently bought a pair of tuxedo pants with a thong sewed into them
anywhere that has a free continental breakfast
nyc bar:
a gigantic snifter filled with a thimble full of hennessy
i’m really into luxury sodas…fresca, san pellegrino grapefruit
no doubt
goldie hawn and goldie hawn
bad lieutenant and 27 dresses
tv show:
who’s the boss?
a black baby with a british accent and toast in a baby bjorn
blackberry…just kidding, who has a blackberry??
housewarming gift:
a fondue set or a rescue dog
11 questions with the fat jew:
what’s your secret obsession?
eating edible underpants while watching a movie
who is your hollywood crush?
mario lopez
how would you fill in this sentence?…“i would do just about anything for…”
lohan to be chubby again with big tits like in mean girls
biggest turn on?
a girl who likes or is willing to have her vagina screamed into at top volume and anyone who owns a small business and refuses to be chained in the oppressive shackles of giant corporations
how would you fill in this sentence?…“if no one found out i would…”
wear birkenstocks with socks. super comfortable yet totally unacceptable on so many levels. and i will name the levels.
how would you describe your style?
stephen segal meets a transvestite with a really long rap sheet who carries an ice pick meets john stamos when he was in jessie and the rippers meets a dominican teen
top 3 qualities you look for in a potential girlfriend?
1. rough hands
2. low self esteem
3. good taste in pants
where is the best place for a single girl to meet a single guy?
the dmv or the port authority for single runaways
what do you like to do on a first date?
go kayaking, go out for vegan…just kidding, drugs and alcohol
how many drinks are acceptable on a first date?
unlimited drinks unless its cranberry and vodka because those make your breath smell horrible
who should initiate the conversation after the first date?
i will because i’ll be waiting in your lobby