the pro’s 411…are you a slut? a brief look at love in the sexting generation by Paul Johnson Calderon

i’m absolutely dreadful and painfully awkward when it comes to sexting.  it’s funny because i’m certainly anything but prude, i just have this disconnect between my sexual emotions and technology.  so why is it so easy for most people?

have we become the slut generation?  what’s with girls about boys trading dick pics and nip slips, what’s a nice boy or girl to do?  especially if aforementioned boy or girl is a complete freak in the sheets…remember when sex was private, behind closed doors?  whelp. it ain’t anymore, kiddos!

love in the modern age. ha! what a joke…let’s get real, it’s kinda dead.  we are all too often made to chose between two archetypes: raging slut or prude intellect.  each wielding its own distinct type of power.  prude and intelligent often leads to career success and no social life; and the raging slut path, often a dead end.  but, why must we choose between the two?  can’t a smart, successful, nerdy prude have a secret sexy side?  can’t a slut just be looking for love (generally in all the wrong places)?

okay, i’ll admit it, i’ve been on the fence between prude and i’ve also been around the block once or twice.  but alas, i couldn’t sext to save my life.  in fact, i know a few beached whales who are better at sexting then i am & (no need to mention names) aren’t nearly as intelligent as i am.  not to toot my own horn, but i know a thing or two about a thing or two, and perhaps therein lies the problem: are we too smart for our own good when it comes to getting laid and loved in this day and age? personally anytime i’ve been sexted, i never know how to respond– my responses usually end up one or two ways.

completely awkward and off subject:

anonymous hottie: “what are you wearing, baby?”
me: “ummmm idk. a hat…and some glasses.”  

welcome to the tragic kingdom! 

then, there are the times that i try way too hard and get all jane austen on a dude:

dude: “i want to be inside of you now.”
me: “but first you must ask for my hand in marriage and a dowry must be put together.  be still, my love.”

SOUND THE ALARM…how to lose a guy in 10 seconds.

now,  don’t get it twisted.  sometimes a girl likes to get down and dirty, and that is what i like to call “poodle at the dog park”, send in the mutts, come one…come all! these are usually the times when i head over to completely bare for a deforestation, only to go home alone and eat four bagels and a pint of ben & jerry’s.  or worse, this is when you initiate sexting only to get a self-confidence killing:

“who’s this? new phone.”

hell, hell i tell you.  but does this venture into the carnal side of one’s hormones and emotions make us sluts?

yes, and no.

if you’re nickname is the grand canyon, you, my dear, are a total floozy. if, every once and a while you have secret sex binges, but you keep it safe and make sure no one in your social circle finds out, then slut it up and smile: no one knows!!!

so, whether you’re a sexting pro or a sexting fail, my advice is only put out there what you don’t mind other’s seeing. no judgements…okay, i lied, TOTAL judgement: dick pics and other x-rated fodder of oneself are tacky.  after all, you don’t want your future husband to know that you were a total slut before you met him.  that’s for everyone else at your wedding to whisper in between snapping your photo and hitting on your mom.

godspeed, and remember: don’t sext and drive.